Coming Out:How to Tell Your Godson That You're Gay
by Demonsblade
Summary: [One shot] Sirius and Remus finally decide to tell Harry about their relationship. Fred and George explain the mechanics of samesex carnal relations to the confused Trio. Spinoff of A Simple Reunion. SBRL slash


** Coming Out – How to Tell Your Godson That You're Gay**

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This was an extremely fun piece to write. It goes along with A Simple Reunion.

I've always wondered about this scenario, and, unable to find any stories on it, I decided to write one myself. Enjoy.

Warning: Spoiler for A Simple Reunion. SLASH. (Sirius Black / Remus Lupin).

Disclaimer: All HP characters belong to JK Rowling.

**Setting: During the start of Order of the Phoenix (The Woes of Mrs. Weasley chapter). After Harry's hearing. Before the party for the new Prefects.**

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Harry was walking back to his room from the bathroom one night when he heard it.

"…We should tell Harry." The sound of his name made him stop dead. And what's more, the voice sounded suspiciously like Lupin's.

"Harry?" This new voice was rather gruff, but Harry would know it anywhere. It was his godfather's.

The two voices drifted out of the door that stood slightly ajar halfway down the hallway. Sirius's room.

Harry hesitated. He didn't want to eavesdrop on whatever conversation the two of them were having, but his curiosity eventually got the better of him and he inched toward the door. Darkness pressed in on him from all sides, but the door revealed a thin slice of the lit room. His godfather was nowhere in his view, however, and neither was Lupin.

"He has a right to know, Sirius."

"Well there's a conversation starter for you. Guess what, Harry? I'm gay! And so is Remus here for that matter. That's right. We snog when you're not looking and give each other blowjobs every chance we get! Oh, yes, Remus. That's a completely appropriate conversation to have with a boy who's barely fifteen years old."

Somewhere, even through his shock, Harry felt a stir of indignation. _Barely fifteen?_

But Lupin was talking again and Harry pressed closer to the door.

"Shhh! Not so loud, Sirius. And besides, you owe him the truth."

"All right, all right. And while we're on the subject…" Sirius laughed. It wasn't his usual bark-like laugh but rather a low chuckle that sounded akin to a growl.

"Sirius! Wait. I haven't put a silencing charm on the door yet. Siri—" Lupin's protests were cut off by a long, muffled moan.

"And anyway," Lupin continued, somewhat shakily, "I thought we agreed on every other night."

"Please, Moony!" Sirius whined.

"Fine! But I'm not doing bottom again. My rump got enough abuse last night."

Harry heard his godfather laugh again.

"Let me just close this door so no one gets a nasty surprise in the morning," Lupin said.

Harry panicked. He all but ran to his room on his tiptoes, blessing the thick carpet under his feet.

As soon as he lay down, his mind started to finally catch up with him. Harry tried to muddle through the conversation he had overhead. What did this mean? Was Sirius kidding when he said he and Lupin were gay? That's what it sounded like, but somehow Harry didn't think so.

_So what did he mean?_ he thought as he turned over into his side.

Harry had always fancied himself a little mature for his age. But when it came to matters of the heart, he was left so much in the dark that he could practically taste his ignorance. The only real sex education he had had was the brief explanation in Muggle school about the mechanics of reproduction and the dangers of procreating before marriage. The Dursleys had never thought it proper to sit him down and enlighten him about the birds and the bees. What Harry knew, he had picked up from his friends. After all, he lived in a school full of hormonally driven adolescents.

Even so, Harry always seemed to know far less than his friends, who all had older siblings or sympathetic parents. The finer points of intercourse completely eluded Harry's comprehension. The word blowjob, for example. He had heard it used before, but he hadn't the slightest inkling of what it could possibly mean. He knew what snogging meant, though. And that was all he needed to know to figure out what Sirius had been talking about.

That was another thing that bothered Harry. He had heard of same-sex relationships in light conversation, but nothing substantial. There were rumors, of course, of unconventional relationships in Hogwarts, but Harry didn't know how accurate they were. And he had never felt compelled to find out.

"_I'm gay! And so is Remus here, for that matter."_

Harry smothered his face into his pillow in frustration.

"_I'm not doing bottom again. My rump got enough abuse last night."_

He lifted his head once, contemplated banging it on the headboard, thought better of it, and let it drop onto his pillow. Whatever had been happening, he, Harry, knew that Sirius would tell him sooner or later. That's what he had promised Lupin, after all.

And with that comforting thought, Harry drifted off to sleep.

Harry dreamt of a large, open field, teeming to the brim with flowers, birds, and bees. He himself didn't seem to be in the dream at all. It was like he was watching an extremely bizarre movie. Sirius and Remus ran through the fields toward a quaint little church, both men clad in what looked like hideously frilly, lavender wedding dresses. They were holding hands and kept turning to Harry to tell him, "We can't wear white, you see."

When Harry woke, it was close to noon. Ron was shaking him, calling his name.

Harry opened his eyes slowly and pushed himself into a sitting position.

"Why can't you wear white?" he asked groggily.

"What?" Ron stared at him with a mixture of confusion and panic. "You've finally snapped, Harry. You're off your rocker."

He ducked the pillow Harry threw at him, and escaped from the room before Harry could get up.

Harry took a quick shower before heading down to lunch. He entered the kitchen to find most of the house's occupants already out of bed. Fred, George, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione sat at one corner of the long table while Mrs. Weasley busied about making food. Sirius and Lupin were seated at the opposite corner, perusing the _Daily Prophet_. At least, Lupin was perusing. A small frown was pulling at the corner of his mouth, but Harry's godfather looked bored and was smiling at a spot on the table.

They both looked up when Harry entered, and he could have sworn that Lupin gave Sirius a sidelong meaningful look before his eyes snapped back to the paper in his hand.

Harry got through lunch without embarrassment by avoiding Sirius and Lupin altogether. But they pulled him aside just as people were filtering out of the kitchen.

"Could we talk to you, Harry?" Lupin asked.

Nodding, Harry told his friends to go ahead and followed his godfather back to a secluded corner of the large kitchen. Sirius motioned for Harry to sit down, and Harry looked around in vain before plopping himself onto the floor with crossed legs. Both men also lowered themselves to the floor in front of him.

They looked serious—or at least, they were trying to. Lupin's face was gradually turning red and Sirius looked quite flustered.

"Harry," he began. His voice cracked from lack of moisture, so he tried again. "Harry, I—_we_—have something to tell you."

Harry tried to look mildly puzzled, but already he could feel himself blushing.

"We're…er…that is to say…" Lupin trailed off.

"You're gay?" Harry hadn't meant to say it, and he clapped his hand to his mouth in horror.

Sirius looked shaken, but Lupin was contemplating him thoughtfully. "Yes, Harry. You guessed?"

"Uh…" Harry brought his hand from his mouth and looked down at his knees. "I heard you two talking last night, and…er…"

"How much did you hear?" asked Sirius brusquely. He looked quite alarmed.

"From when you said you were going to tell me something to when you closed the door."

Lupin and Sirius both turned a shade of red that rivaled Ron's hair. Clearing his throat with as much dignity as he could muster given the situation, Lupin said, "So…yes, Harry. What you heard was true. Sirius and I are…"

"Lovers," Sirius finished.

"Er…right." Harry was starting to feel quite uncomfortable. "Is—is that all you wanted to tell me?"

"Well," said Lupin, "we were hoping you would tell us if you were okay with this."

"It's fine," Harry managed to choke out. But yet again, curiosity got the better of him. "Since when has…you know…this…been happening?"

Sirius let out the breath he had been holding and even managed a smile. "Well, we first got together in our sixth year at Hogwarts."

"And then we broke up at the end of the year." Lupin looked at Sirius quickly before continuing. "But by the time seventh year started, we were back together."

"Then, we broke up yet again about a year before…er…about the time you were born, Harry."

"And then Sirius came to hide out at my place right after you helped him escape on Buckbeak."

"We've been together ever since."

"Oh." Harry couldn't think of what else to say.

"Is—is this okay?" Sirius asked, casting Harry a pleading look.

Harry nodded and, catching sight of their clasped hands, flushed.

Sirius's face broke out in a grin. "You truly are your father's son, Harry."

"Did—did my dad know about you guys?"

"Oh, of course. We were best friends and roommates to boot. How could he not know? He's the one that helped us make up after we broke up for the first time."

"Your mother was kind, too, Harry. She didn't treat us any different because of our…preferences. She seemed to find it amusing, actually."

"You'd be surprised how many people were supportive of our relationship at school."

"Really? How many people knew?"

"I'd say about half of Hogwarts knew at least."

"And they…er…didn't have a problem with it?"

"No. It's not unheard of in the wizarding world, Harry."

"Actually, it's quite common in pureblood families with a lot of forced arranged marriages. But as long as you procreate and carry on the family line, everyone turns their heads from whatever other relationships you might want to have."

"Oh."

Silence fell, and after a while of awkward shifting, Sirius asked, "Is there anything else you want to know?"

_I want to know what a bloody blowjob is_, Harry thought. But he kept that to himself. The situation was uncomfortable enough as it was. His head was teeming with questions, but they were all of a nature that demanded lots of throat clearing and blushing. So instead, Harry politely took his leave, thanking his godfather weakly for telling him the truth.

Harry trudged his way up the stairs, trying not to picture what the significant looks Lupin had given Sirius at the end of their conversation had led up to. He entered his room to encounter a flurry of movement.

Ron jumped up from his position on his bed and stuffed something reflexively under his pillow, blushing profusely. Hermione grabbed a book from the bedside table and hid herself behind it. Crookshanks leapt from the armoire onto Harry head before jumping onto the carpet and stalking off with his tail in the air.

Harry narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "What were you two doing?"

"Nothing," said Ron, altogether too loudly. He winced at the volume of his own voice and tried again. "Nothing, Harry." He compulsively patted his pillow, forcing his mouth into a painful smile. "Nothing at all, we were just—hey!"

Harry had crossed the room and swiped the pillow before Ron could react. Underneath rested a twisted chord of what looked like flesh—Extendable Ears.

"You were listening?"

Ron blanched. "Listening to what, mate?"

"Don't give me that. You were listening to my conversation with Lupin and Sirius, weren't you?"

"Yes." It was Hermione who spoke. She put the book down and walked over to join them. "Sorry, Harry. Ron here—" (she shot him a hard look) "was curious."

Harry sighed. "It's okay. Maybe it's good that you two know, anyway. You can help me sort myself out." He sunk into his bed. "I just don't know what to think about all this."

Hermione sat on the edge of the bed and patted his shoulder softly. Ron remained standing, looking as if he was refraining from pelting Harry with all the questions he had.

"So…it's true, is it?" he finally said, then flushed. "I thought the Extendable Ears must have been malfunctioning. I wouldn't put it past Fred and George to give me ones that twisted everyone's words." He looked apologetic. "So they're really…er…"

"Together?" asked Harry. Ron nodded, turning a spectacular shade of crimson. "Yeah…I guess they are."

"Blimey."

"Are you okay with this, Harry?" Hermione asked.

"I don't really know. It's just surprising. I mean, you'd never think those two were—"

"Surprising?" Hermione shook her head pityingly. "Really, Harry. Haven't you ever noticed that Sirius is happiest when Professor Lupin is here?"

"That doesn't mean anything!" Ron shouted indignantly. "It's not like we ever caught them snogging in the hallways." He looked horrified at the thought.

CRACK!

Fred and George Apparated on either side of Ron, making him jump.

"Could you two stop _doing_ that?" he asked, clutching his heart.

Fred ignored him, turning instead to Harry. "So you've found out about the resident lovebirds?"

George beamed. "Took you long enough."

Ron's jaw looked like it was in danger of dropping to the ground. "How in the _bloody hell_ do_ you _know about those two?"

"Well, we've been developing a little something." He winked.

"Like what?"

"After we gave you the Marauder's Map, Harry, we've been working on something similar to it."

Ron laughed. "You two haven't got the brains to make something like that!"

Fred glared at him, and George clutched his chest dramatically. "My own brother!"

Hermione waved their histrionics aside with an impatient hand. "So tell us, already. How do you two know?"

"Ah, yes. Well, we've been trying to perfect our map, see."

"It not only shows the Hogwarts grounds like the Marauder's Map."

"It shows the reader a detailed map of wherever he happens to be."

"We're still working out the kinks, though."

"We've been having quite a few problems with it in this house."

"Probably because of all the protections on it."

"What kind of problems?" asked Harry.

"Well, it doesn't exactly show a map."

"No walls—"

"No doors—"

"No windows—"

"You get the idea."

"But for some reason it shows furniture and the names and positions of all males between the ages of thirty and fifty…and Kreacher."

"So naturally we were examining it at night, trying to fix the problems."

"That's how we…er…found out." Fred and George both gave Harry identical meaningful looks.

Harry blushed, but Ron didn't seem to be able to grasp the idea.

"What are you two talking about?" he asked, looking from Fred to George. "How can you find out something like that from a map?"

"Ah, ickle Ronnie. Poor, innocent, naïve little Ronnie."

Ron's ears reddened in anger. Thankfully, Hermione intervened before things got out of hand.

"Ron…" she started. "Er, Sirius and Professor Lupin were probably in their room, right?"

"Yeah…so?"

"Well," she replied, trying to keep her shaking voice steady, "they would've been in the same bed, wouldn't they?"

Ron blanched. "You mean—they—do stuff?"

"No, really, Ron." Fred rolled his eyes. "You think?"

George grabbed Ron by the shoulder and steered him to a chair. "Maybe you should sit down for this, Ron."

"I can't believe they'd—"

"Really, Ron," Hermione snapped. "They're both adults. What do you expect?"

"But…" he protested weakly.

"Everyone can't stay celibate forever, you know."

Ron looked faint. George patted his brother's head uneasily.

"What do _you_ think, Harry?" asked Fred, turning to him. "After all, Sirius is _your_ godfather."

"I don't really care, I guess. If it makes them happy, then—"

"That's the spirit, Harry!"

"And besides," Harry continued, "my parents were okay with it, so if I hadn't been raised by the Dursleys, then I reckon I would be, too."

"But—" Ron protested meekly. "How is it possible?"

"Come on, Ron," replied Hermione testily. "I think you're taking this a little too personally. It's their life. What's it to you?"

"No, I mean…" he flushed. "How can they—you know…"

"What?"

"You know…how can they…er…"

George's face suddenly lit up. "Ah, I see. You want to know how they can engage in carnal relations?"

Everyone except the twins flushed. Harry was just as embarrassed as Ron, because although he didn't voice his thoughts, he had been wondering the same thing.

Fred and George, grinning wickedly, explained in whispers. By the time they were finished, Harry not only knew what a blowjob was, but he also had a head full of images that he was sure would give him insomnia for weeks. Ron looked like he was thinking along the same lines. His complexion was alternating between a pale white and deep purple, the two colors eventually combining into a sickly green. Mouth flapping noiselessly, Ron reminded Harry strongly of the catfish he had seen in the Muggle zoo.

Hermione was remarkably calm. Unlike the horrified Ron, she looked mildly thoughtful and giddy.

"Any more questions?" Fred asked with an air of someone teaching a class on vanilla custard.

Hermione looked like she was about to ask something, but Ron and Harry shook their heads furiously.

"Well, all right then." He turned to George. "I think our work here is done. Shall we go then?"

"Hold on," said Harry. "How do you two _know_ all this stuff?"

Fred merely winked, smirking. Along with George, he Disapparated with a loud crack.

The three of them sat in silence, avoiding each other's eyes. Then Ron voiced what they had all been thinking.

"Blimey. I'll never be able to look at those two blokes the same way again."

Fin.

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I hope you liked it. I tried to stay as true to the characters as possible. Of course, there are moment of OOC-ness still.

And sorry to any Ron fans that didn't like my depiction of him. Actually, I don't think he's a homophobe or anything. I didn't even mean for him to have as strong a reaction as he did. But the characters don't always do what I want them to. It was quite funny, so I continued.

Please review!


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